"Making Love"

Some people love this phrase, others abhor it. I really like it because it separates a type of sex that is very specific. Do I think you have to be in a committed relationship to "make love"? Not a chance. Making love refers to a very specific type of sex:

Imagine you with another person, very close, looking in each other eyes, making out holding each other in your embraces. With every element of desire and care for one another, dedicating yourselves to each other for at least this wonderful night. Ze or you penetrate you or ze, respectively. You're having sex and you are whisked away into the other persons eyes. You can't think of anything else than how you feel for the other person, the world passes by without your care or notice, just a love for where you are, and who you are with at this point. You feel romance and intimacy, you feel that ze cares for you. You care for zir.

This is what is rolling through your head, but even if you haven't met zir until today, you can still obtain this. But why is that even true? It's because this feeling is what most kinksters are prone to constantly think about: Headspace.

The framework of "Making love" is the most basic, most vanilla type of sexual headspace. The reason vanilla people have a tendency for passion in this way is that they have no experience in finding other headspace and find it to be what they really yearn for. Kinksters find themselves with another aspiration in headspace, a headspace that is more twisted, more power-structure driven, or more "taboo" or perverse.

So let's stop making fun of the vanilla people that are just enjoying "Making love." They're just like us, but with their own headspace, and don't know about the other great headspaces one can obtain. We just need to give them some education.

LOL

Is this why the Dykes on Bikes do it, and leather guys love bikes? I mean, racing leathers ARE getting popular..... :-)

In memoriam

I just got a new suit from Sparky, someone I'm happy I have in my life, that is the work of the late Bodisama, a man I cared about, along with his widower I was very close to. I have a connection with the rubber that he made, each piece is sentimental, and this is a former personal piece of his, which makes it even more sentimental to me. We miss you, Bodisama. We miss you.



Sabre hood and neck entry catsuit of Devil Dog Rubber, Bodisama's lovechild.

Sometimes...

You just have to sit back and take what's about to come.... (Courtesy: Sparky)

When you know

...that you're fucked. (Courtesy: Sparky)



First time I had ever played with a chastity device that didn't pinch me. Pretty cool. The one we used was this awesome silicone one. Definitely recommended as it doesn't bite as much and make you readjust while at work or whatever, I imagine.

Perving over Times Square.

Sparky and I were hanging out while he was in NYC this month and he had a really great view in his room. So he decided to take a picture of my rubbery self overlooking everything. It was pretty sweet.



More to come later.

Doctor's Orders

I came out last week to my doctor, kinkily. I started by asking him, "so... I'm curious what's safe, when it comes to kink." He was a bit caught off guard, looking at me, but then just replied "It's pretty much all safe." I have found out in the last two visits (I have a bit of a skin condition as of late, due to a new skin allergy I've acquired, etc.), that my doctor is extremely kink-positive and sex-positive and has answers to all the questions that I've always really wanted to ask my doctor but until now my doctor has been straight, and I've been timid.

First off, I had the first question of why it is that they ask me immediately if I've been having oral sex when I have a sore throat, and then test for chlyamidia and gonorrhea of the mouth. The answer is simple, this is the standard CDC procedure that they have now outlined for patients. This, I found interesting, but it's not exactly something that will help me practice sex safely when it comes to kink, so in the last couple of meetings, I've asked a slough of questions.

A Screen from Clinic Cum.

What S&M is safe? Is there any pain play I should worry about? CBT?

Doctor's Answer: All painplay, unless too, too extreme is safe.

What about watersports?

Doctor: Piss is sterile. You will be fine when someone pisses on you.

What about drinking piss?

Doctor: You should be concerned only if the person is doing drugs that pass through the body and is ejected through urine. The only real hard drug that one should be concerned about in this context is methamphetamine. If someone doesn't have an uncommon issue in their urinary tract nor is on methamphetamines, you're fine.

I like getting fisted, should I be worried?

Doctor: Your sphincter muscle loosens over time, but, if you're fisting, you already know that. Just be certain to know when it hurts and stop when it hurts.

Now, toys. How should one clean an electro buttplug? Is it safe to share?

Doctor: Electro buttplug? "Yes, it's made of metal" Ah! Cool. Um, you should just use Clorox wipes or Lysol, wipe it down and let it fully dry. You should be fine then.

Non-metal plugs and anal toys?

Doctor: Um, honestly, the dishwasher is best. Works for most things, but it will make silicon toys a bit powdery...

Me: I treasure my puppy tail and silicon toys, if it's going to mess with them even a bit, I'm not going to do that with them then. They're all for me.

Doctor: Okay then.

Poppers?

Doctor: They kill brain cells, but most things do, right? You know that. Just don't do them too, too often.

How should I feel about breath control?

Doctor: Well, I would say you should do it with someone experienced. If you're going for passing out, you should not be trying to do it through airflow, but via the carotid arteries. You should be careful and do it with someone that is a health profession or of equivalent experience, when it comes to near pass out play.