The Ladder

Two weekends ago, I went to a gear weekend with some fellow gearheads and kinksters. We rented out a cabin, chalet and former bed and breakfast in Western Pennsylvania to have complete privacy to do what we felt. It was a lot of fun. I only knew about five of the guys at the beginning and then I met the rest and really got along with them all. There's usually a connection that's immediately found between two people that have kink inclinations, and that really makes closeness come more naturally. Despite the open and clear motives that such a weekend entails, I still find it somewhat difficult to initiate things, but I got a sufficient amount of play done. This post will entail the most powerful scene that I had that weekend. I am not going to stylize the encounter to sound hot, but tell it as best my memory can. I find the realness of what happens in a scene much more important.

Well, we'll start by setting where the connection laid. reddywhp and I met Friday night when he came while everyone was relaxing at the end of the night somewhat tipsy. He was in work clothes, not my style, so I really didn't pay much attention except for that he was a geniunely nice guy. (I was, at that point, sitting to another guy that currently had my attention) At breakfast the next day I see him and we start horsing around a bit and he just starts to crush my nipples while we're next to each other on the couch. I start to see our chemistry. He's a bigger guy, which makes it nice to be held close. He is strong, so I can try to resist, but it frankly won't last in the long run. This is nice. At any rate, we start to make out and really explore each other, and I get on top and try to get to his cock, as a curiosity of what's there more than anything else. I try to put my hand down his pants to his chuckling "it'll take more than that." He had a wrestling singlet on under his polo and cargo shorts. I take the polo off and he has beautiful hair.


(Aforementioned singlet on aforementioned reddywhp, from his flickr)

I play with that a bit as we chat, talk about what both of us like, chat about limits, and learn more about each other both kinkwise and platonically. I move the singlet down and slowly move to take the cargo shorts and singlet both down, and what do I find:



A CB-2000 with 6000 rings, with a 2-gauge captive segment ring PA (and yes, that is the penis I am talking about). I'm immediately excited, as I toy with him, playing with the PA, and he moans in delight. He starts dripping after being in it for a respectable four days. We continue to fluctuate from talking and making out, while others plan the day. We then join the crowd as we go to see one of the "wineries" in Western Pennsylvania. I learn more about the crowd as well as him throughout the trip. He's well-experienced, and prefers to bottom, but is a "top by default" a lot of the time.

We get back from the winery and decide to play. I put my (newly patched) catsuit on and boots, and then we decide to go to the back cabin for some privacy. We walk up there, and chat about what we're going to do. He asks what my limits are and I go off talking about all the things that I'm not willing to try at this point (he had alluded to doing play piercing in the car) as well as the unsafe things. He calmly said "I plan on using rope and any pain will be inflicted via my hands. That good?" I nodded, and ask, "Do we need a safe word, or what you want to do"? He claims, "safe words have places, but they're sometimes crutches. Let's stick with 'No' and 'Stop' for now. If I hear either of those I'll stop and check in with you." He continued, "The purpose is to have fun, and for you to play with me again. Deal?" I agreed, pleased, and we continued our walk in the blazing sun, the black rubber on my arms soaking in the sun and making my flesh feel singed.

We get up to the cabin--locked, but we break in to our own cabin via a credit card (such great security, we joked). And he sits me down as we take off the street clothes I had on. He gets down to his singlet and then goes to get his rope. He had yellow rope that was organized into different lengths. He started by restraining my arms behind me and this was a bit uncomfortable. He takes a break to unzip the front of my catsuit to expose my cock and balls. Proceeding, he started with another length of rope to then to start a body harness and then tied it from my head down to my cock and balls, anchoring it behind my back. He then asked me how it felt. He saw hesitation when I mentioned, "well I can't move," and asked "what's wrong?" I felt numbness in my left index finger. He said it was an aggressive try and untied the arm binders. He wanted me to be comfortable, and wanted something that could last. We joked a bit about something that might be necessary "what's the word...starts with a 'c'... ah yes, Circulation"!

We can't retie in the same pose without making my arm go numb, so we move to the ladder of the loft in the cabin. We have a bit of trouble to find the right hand restraints until he nonchalantly makes ad-hoc wrist restraints out of the rope with ease, tantamount to leather or rubber wrist restraints. I compliment him on his repertoire, and he smiles. He then tethers my arms to the ladder, and then stops. He looks me in the eyes and asks "Will you be okay with a collar? I will make it like the wrist restraints so that it won't slip." I keep eye contact and say, "Yes." I trusted him. Fully. He unravels a new length around my neck three times, starts to finish the tie, and then tethers it to a rung of the ladder. I pull forward with my neck, and it slips and I lose a bit of circulation and calmly say, "uh... it's slipping." He replies, "Um, I see that! I obviously tied it wrong." He then releases me from the collar and retries, and gets it on the second securing. He makes me chase his lips for a kiss, as I wrestle against the new restraint, and he coyly keeps out of reach as I yearn for his lips. He then obliges for a while as he moves his hands up and down my rubbery exterior. He then gets a yellow shoelace out, and ties it around my cock, and then continues to use another around my balls; it has a slip in it. It proceeds to start to pinch my scrotum, and I tell him, and he addresses it, saying "that's not exactly the trial I'm going for." He then ties the loose end to a rung where I have to crouch to maintain just moderate ball pain.

He steps back and asks, "Should I change into rubber?" I smile and nod, and he retires into his room to change, requesting me to yell if anything happens. I wriggle in the roped rubber and see no way to get out. I toy with the wrist restraints, unable to untie them in my current position. I'm stuck, writhing between keeping my knees somewhat bent to abate the ball pain, and bearing the brunt of the ball pain for some leg relief. He gets back in full transparent rubber with attached hood. The front is unzipped, with his CB-2000 protruding outward. I smile and we continue where we last left off. He takes a new length, further restraining me via attaching my boots to the bottom of the ladder. He then proceeds to secure his balls into the same slip with a third shoelace, and then unties my ball restraint to tie the loose ends of each of the ball tetherings together. We look at each other knowing whatever one of us feels, the other will too. He proceeds to kiss me and then step backwards, and as he moves back, my torso stretches to the furthest the rope would allow, to alleviate the inevitable stretch. My futile attempt does not work

He notices my futile attempt, and pulls back further, smiling. He holds it for a while, as we maintain an open-wire communication via our eyes. We see what one another is thinking, and we're connected, not just via our scrotums, but almost as one full body. I feel through him: his movements, his ideas, his actions, his body parts. He has me. We reverberate--as one of us moves, the other reacts. This intensity is maintained, only released when he comes in to kiss me. I can see the sweat accumulating in his rubber, and the way it interacts with his hair. But I am focused on three things: his kiss, our balls, and us. We continue this for a while, and then we start to talk again.

"How are you doing," he asks.
"Great. It's a bit tough," I laugh.
"Good. You want to do something else?"
"Sure."
"I'm not going to be any easier..."
"That's fine."
"I want to see what you can take."

... and that's enough for now. Until next time... I wish you:

ball stretching, buttplay and boys,
Bo

Prehension and Sleepsacks

First off, I think people know that I over-analyze a lot of things, and this is going to one of those points where I am over-analyzing to a point that people may start to disagree with what I have to say.

I have as of late become engrossed by sleepsacks, and have been thinking about them for long periods of time. And I think they have let me understand a lot more about kink than what I used to understand about the process and journey itself. I was at a gear weekend this last weekend (more about that at a later date, I will probably start posting my IML memoir in segments and then the gear weekend in segments as well, though the chronology will be a bit askew).

At any rate, this is in part a reflection after watching a prolonged scene itself, and seeing what I could see when I was looking at it objectively and not directly involved. I want to first give two observations/viewpoints that I feel underscore how I understand kink for myself. Each person responds to it in a different way, but this is the lens under which I view kink. Sex is a conversation between persons, and kink is an alternate type of conversation where two people may converse to understand one another in a new way. It’s more carnal and it can lead to learning about each other in a different level of one another’s psyche. Also, I feel like a Bottom can understand himself better via this category of conversation. Your conscience can prehend (in the words of Whitehead) with the more intimate parts of one’s mind via kink. I feel like sleepsacks are the first gear piece that have found me understanding how prehension works in kink, as one flows between understanding what is going on consciously and subconsciously via the sensory deprivations.



This picture is of therubberfreak, the first person I met at IML (actually met him on the Blue Line when he was part of a trio I asked for directions to the host hotel).

The gear itself promotes aesthetic objectification. It makes the body uniform and symmetric. Both of these characteristics are hardwired, abstract ideals in our minds. The hand placement forces the body to admit a level of posture, and while the Bottom struggles, the only muscles that can break the symmetry are the obliques, a muscle that cannot maintain that broken symmetry for long. When one laces the sleepsack, it adds more symmetry and then thins the body, giving another level of ideals approached, one then laces diagonally the rope upon the abdomen, making an abstract definition of a roped six-pack. Then this in turn makes the pecs protrude. I find it interesting and beautiful how the lacing of a sleepsack unintentionally adds these extra dimensions to the body.

Next a gas mask or an appropriate hood leads to a new level of symmetry by symmetrizing the head, while serving to objectify the Bottom, both in the Top’s and Bottom’s perspective. With this level of sensory deprivation and new mindset, the Bottom can now observe, feel and interact with stimuli and the world in a new headspace.

Let me explain what I feel that a Bottom feels in a sleepsack (in this case, I’d like to assume that the Bottom is sensory deprived as before). I feel one of the strongest points of BDSM immobilization and sensory deprivation is the fact that it allows, with other pieces of gear, to go into a state of isolation, and project oneself down into a level of impersonal trials and stimuli that the Top engages, while still keeping a conversation between the persons. There’s a loss of history, one’s headspace goes to the moment, and one can transcend further into one’s inner id. By keeping focus, I feel one can get to a new level for stimuli, whether it’s a new type of interaction, higher level of pain or stronger reaction to stimuli. This is where the prehension can be reached, and there’s a certain level of beauty attached to it all.

Communication

So, if you recall my post on electro, I had a Dom that kept me in excruciating pain and generally did not give me that much respect. After that experience, I pretty much had cut the Dom off and moved on. I labelled him as a "bad Dom." As of late, we started to talk again. I finally threw it all out there and said how I felt about the situation: disrespected. I'm fine feeling some disrespect in a scene, but when one puts me into a slave position when it was not negotiated from the beginning, I'm upset. He had not listened to what limits were crossed and when things were too much. Also, I need some kind of re-centering when an intense scene occurs. He apologized, and we continued to talk, pinpointed what went wrong and troubleshooted.

Once specific things that went wrong were found, understood and articulated, we continued to find what alternatives worked for both of us. We found a benchmark and met and explored it. We respected each others wants at this benchmark and it worked really well, and have decided to take that and move further using that.

I think this is a lesson for myself and I want to share it with others. Sometimes with kink you can get too hurt either emotionally or physically in a scene, and be left out to dry afterwards. Kink sex is another vehicle in which two people communicate, and when the sub hurt too much, the communication suffers. This is when one should bring the issue up. Renegotiation must happen in order to make things better and if the two can find a new agreement then it's definitely retrying.

Sometimes a Dom's desires does not align with the sub's at all, and then it is best to just not reconvene, and both should be strong and understand that their kinks do not align well. But otherwise, it's worth trying again to find a good benchmark and then work up. It worked this time for me, and if you're in a town where it's hard to find good kink players, it's definitely to your advantage to not just toss out guys that you already have some connection with.

Until next time, I wish you

Communication, cockrings, and cum control,
Bo

Electro

When I first tried electro this spring, it was pretty terrible. I was in excruciating pain and the Dom was just shouting at me that I was just whining. Well, this weekend I got a great electro experience for the first time. After having some drinks with a friend in West Philly, I got some texts from one of my hot friends saying he was staying in downtown Philly for the night and would like to hang out at the Bike Stop. So I run down to the Stop, go to the Pit, and then meet up with my friend. I talk him for a bit and then talk to the GM Shawn that I absolutely adore, for a good straight...ish man. He's a good kinkster.

So my friend and I go over to his place to play, he gets into his rubber surfsuit and then starts edging me. I start to feel my hole tingling and ask if he has hole toys we could play with. After looking at his inventory, he had a fully sterilized Electro Butt-Plug (he had the medium). I looked at it with two emotions, excitement as I've played with this style of plug before, and also worry due to my previous experience. But he said we could go slow and see what happens and could always turn it off. I definitely suggest doing electro with someone that gives you some control on what goes on for the first time if not the first few times now, and especially with someone that definitely has used it tons on themselves.

He used the plug with the E-232 Power Box. We kept it on "thrust" for the entire session as it was his favorite and I wanted to keep it simple for the first time. We mainly focused on playing with intensity and the time lapse between shocks. The Key : Electro Gel. This really helps curb any pain from the shocks and make it just purely an intense experience. We started slowly and saw how I reacted to it, and built up slowly. The first time, the Sir took me to around 10 or 11 o'clock on the same power box with the Electric Bands (one around the head of my cock, the other around my cock and balls) and once the gel ran out it was just the end of any enjoyment and I just was wincing in pure agony, with no work up to the level I was at and just flatly in intolerable pain and had no understanding of electro-pleasure.

With my friend this weekend, he got me to 12 o'clock with the plug, and I was moaning with delight, and with a minor conversation on my headspace, we moved up to 1o'clock, and he edged me slowly, milking every second. I writhed in delight and pleasure-torture. The shock really focuses on your prostate and contracts everything inside you and gets more intense the more you clench your hole. So this means, the more you're edged and close, the more intensely you feel the shock, and when he stops edging, you feel less and the cock can recover and not get closer to cumming. This boy really knew how to take me to the edge and deny me. It drove me insanely happy. When I finally came, it was extremely rewarding.

So, a few observations for the first time for people in electro: Yes, having electro in your hole might be scarier, but choose that over the cock torture for your first time. Definitely make sure you have a healthy dialogue, and you probably want it to be on equal footing, even if you're tied up for the first time, so that you can say "it's too much" and he'll put it down instead of just scream "suck it up." There's plenty more life with electro to live for him to start Domming your balls off later, make the first time very comfortable and make sure you enjoy it, you do not need to start from the max.

I now cannot wait for my next electro experience. And no, electro pictures and videos do not give the experience any justice. You have to try it yourself in your own headspace and journey to really understand what it does. It's extremely unique, and beautiful in this regard.

Until next time, I wish you...

E-stim, Enemas, and Exhibitionism,
Bo

Why? - CB 6000

Chastity. Isn't sex about the orgasm? This seems like it really would just a hindrance. Well, at one point in my life, I thought this exact thought... but then I started to think about chastity and put one of these things on for a test drive.



The CB-6000. Kink sex is not about the orgasm, it's about what you want to make it about, whichever kink turns you and your partner(s) on. For the people that are already into chastity itself and being locked up you already enjoy this. I'm going to focus on speaking here to the people that are into other things, and how chastity can amplify the things other people are into.

Chastity devices like the CB - 6000 can be used by a Dom to assert control of the most innermost parts of the subs life for long term, namely his orgasm. Also, each time the sub starts to become hard, the cage constrains the cock and quells any hope for an erection, while becoming uncomfortable for the sub. So, the sub is constantly reminded that his cock is controlled by his Dom--that it is owned. The sub becomes more subservient over time knowing that by serving SIR is the only way he will get to cum.

One thing that I find really interesting about the CB-6000 is the idea of being in it while fucking. When one is anally stimulated, prostate stimulation is much more intense when one does not have the ability to touch their cock. The intensity is extended. One can keep their sub not bound but in a CB-6000, and he still has the inability to touch themselves before you want them to, let alone cum.

The sub doesn't even get to feel his cock brush around in his pants, and hence when it gets taken out of the cage, it will become much more sensitive. Also, the buildup will make it even more intense when he finally cums. This makes edging and milking even more intense, and the sub even more desperate to cum, the longer the device is on. One can get the sub to get bound, take the cage off, and do what one wants, put it back on, and then untie the sub.

This last part is a good scenario for a Dom/sub relation where the sub enjoys forced milking and edging. If they are in a fwb relation, the Dom keeps the sub locked up, and the sub comes over once a week to get tied up, edged for a while, come a couple of times, or three, or four... or not at all, and then gets locked up when the Dom is done. Bye! See you next week, same time same place.

I have also heard of a humiliation scenario where a straight boy was humiliated by having a gay boy have him locked up and control everything.

One issue I have found though about this device is that almost everyone that gets into one gets excited when you start to put it on. This makes you have to wait for yourself to get flaccid before putting the cage on, so I suggest putting the ring on first, waiting... and then when the cock isn't expecting it, put the cage on and lock quickly. Also be sure to lube the cock when you put the cage on it. It's also crucial to get the right ring or else the contraption will really make the balls uncomfortable, and intolerable for long play. Another great way to get past the hard-on-while-caging point is once you get into a routine, you can just milk the sub until he can't even get hard anymore, and then put the cage on at your leisure!

I think that's it for this week's "Why?". Leave a comment if you have any other great suggestions or curiosities about this device.

Until then, I wish you

Cum control, Collars, and Clothespins,
Bo

What a boy wants...

I think around twice a week I get a message on some kink site that has a body like this

"looking for a dad?"

While I totally understand that some people are looking for this, many others are not, so I simply reply with a "Nope. Good luck!" While I am predominantly submissive, I feel outside of the bedroom, I want to bring as much if not more to the table to a relationship. I like winning bread, if you will. As I understand it doesn't hurt to ask if someone is looking for a dad, but usually one of the two a week counters and ups the ante with some form of monetary or otherwise proposition, not taking the gentle brush off well: "i could give u anything your heart desires" or "I can take care of you as well as you can imagine" something along those lines. I usually respond with something along "I have plenty of intangibles I need, so I don't think that's true", and usually I get one a month that goes the extra mile and says "Oh but that's what I'm best at!"

This is when I say "get me an offer of professorship at Northwestern and then we'll talk."

The majority of kinksters, I believe, do not live their lives solely surrounding their kinks. Sexuality, freedom of physical expression, liberation from norms, and physical satisfaction are all very important parts of each person's life, but it doesn't define exactly who each one of us is. One of my kinkier friends today said his happiness is what he sees when he closes his eyes and what he sees: biking, watersports (not the kink kind) and general fun outdoor activities.

But it is a part of us. There's something romantic about having your Sir tuck you in at night with a kiss and a simultaneous 'click' of the padlock. It's just how we say "I care for you" in a different tongue. Kink adds a new vocabulary of body language and a new level of conversation between people, but it isn't all of our lives.

A boy can be completely independent in his day-to-day life, and this is one of the reasons I do not want to identify as a slave. What I want is a Sir that can really stand on his two feet and treat me as an equal when it's time for that, but also knows when I need to do my duty for him.

So, for all you Daddy's that don't respect or understand boys' worldwide wishes I say:



Flip off. And for all you Sir's and Dad's that respect our aspirations and want to befriend us and be around us while we achieve them I say:



Woof! Let's play.

Until next time, I wish you

Pup, Piss and Punch Play,
Bo

PS Photos due to/of my good rubber pig friend, rubbaboy.

Why? - Double Duty Gags.

I am going to start a weekly post now about "Why?" This is a question I get a lot as I come out to friends as kinky. They ask why I like certain things. The most obvious reason that I find perfectly valid to give is "because it gets me hard, and I enjoy it." We, as kinksters, need no other reason, but I feel it really helps to give a good logical reason of why it gets us hard, and convinces people that kink is not just paraphilia in the DSM-IV, but really actually fun for all!

I'll start this with a piece that I have recently be ogling over the pictures of:



The Double Duty Gag at Mr. S Leather. First off, the gag is a wonderful piece of gear. It's pretty obvious why it's used: first off, the sub loses his ability to speak or voice their opinions losing say of what is going on. Secondly, he is forced to keep his mouth in a somewhat uncomfortable position for an extended period of time, leaving him wanting to do what SIR wants him to do so as to not get punished further. Thirdly, it definitely looks hot! But some great things are missed by these reasons that I quite enjoy.

For me, one of the best parts of a gag is that if it's in long enough, one starts to have a strand of drool come out of their mouth. While shirtless and standing, one feels this strand slowly trickle down their body, and it's a very sensual part of the gag.

Now, the double duty gag, I think highlights all these things, but adds a very new aspect of the gag. With two people gagged tightly next to one another you get this new level of closeness. You can't not look into the eyes of the guy you're bound to, hopeless wanting to kiss the victim, but indefinitely unable to. The sexual tension just builds. In effect, the gag can be used to amplify your desire for the guy you're tied to, and I don't think anyone vanilla would disagree that becoming more and more into your other partner is a good thing. I feel as austere and cold as this gear piece might be, it's something that vanilla people can understand.

Then again, on the other hand, the Dom side of me is squealing for the chance to put two straight guys with humiliation fetishes in this thing together. :-)

Until next time. I wish you...

Gags, GOM and Gungeplay,
Bo.