My history has me being a hesitant and late starter in the realm of sex; however, in the realm of kink and understanding what this part of sexual agency and identity is fairly early. I figured out that I was queer at the age of 15, and it took a year to learn of the kink-core perspective that I had.
It was a quick change: I went from "hey, that guy in my class is cute." to watching leather fisting porn within 12 months. For this reason, I have felt that kink and exploring sexually many fields is innate in my sexual agency and expression.
Though, this speedy liberation found resistance in my parents. When I came out to them one fateful evening in the winter of 2004, the family's dynamics changed. I was forced into conversion therapy, a faith-based therapist tried to help me find Jesus in order to "straighten" out the situation, if you will. This led me to repressing my sexuality and it all became a form of taboo for a good solid 1.5 years, until I left to go to college. Four years later, the summer after college and after a long vanilla relationship, I actually started to explore my mind's kink. It started with edging, then it went to bondage, and quickly to leather, hoods, well, you get the idea. Plenty on this stuff and details later. Pics included.
When I started, I was fearful. Afraid of the unknown, afraid of what would happen when I took the plunge and listened to what my heart really wanted, and afraid of what others would think about me. After a year of my journey, I have realized how far I have come. Kink and my expression in it has actually been a source of my confidence. I am now comfortable in my (often rubberized) skin.
I think this journey merits a forum to share my thoughts, experiences, and opinions. No matter where you are in your kink journey, drop me a line to let me know.
