Doctor's Orders

I came out last week to my doctor, kinkily. I started by asking him, "so... I'm curious what's safe, when it comes to kink." He was a bit caught off guard, looking at me, but then just replied "It's pretty much all safe." I have found out in the last two visits (I have a bit of a skin condition as of late, due to a new skin allergy I've acquired, etc.), that my doctor is extremely kink-positive and sex-positive and has answers to all the questions that I've always really wanted to ask my doctor but until now my doctor has been straight, and I've been timid.

First off, I had the first question of why it is that they ask me immediately if I've been having oral sex when I have a sore throat, and then test for chlyamidia and gonorrhea of the mouth. The answer is simple, this is the standard CDC procedure that they have now outlined for patients. This, I found interesting, but it's not exactly something that will help me practice sex safely when it comes to kink, so in the last couple of meetings, I've asked a slough of questions.

A Screen from Clinic Cum.

What S&M is safe? Is there any pain play I should worry about? CBT?

Doctor's Answer: All painplay, unless too, too extreme is safe.

What about watersports?

Doctor: Piss is sterile. You will be fine when someone pisses on you.

What about drinking piss?

Doctor: You should be concerned only if the person is doing drugs that pass through the body and is ejected through urine. The only real hard drug that one should be concerned about in this context is methamphetamine. If someone doesn't have an uncommon issue in their urinary tract nor is on methamphetamines, you're fine.

I like getting fisted, should I be worried?

Doctor: Your sphincter muscle loosens over time, but, if you're fisting, you already know that. Just be certain to know when it hurts and stop when it hurts.

Now, toys. How should one clean an electro buttplug? Is it safe to share?

Doctor: Electro buttplug? "Yes, it's made of metal" Ah! Cool. Um, you should just use Clorox wipes or Lysol, wipe it down and let it fully dry. You should be fine then.

Non-metal plugs and anal toys?

Doctor: Um, honestly, the dishwasher is best. Works for most things, but it will make silicon toys a bit powdery...

Me: I treasure my puppy tail and silicon toys, if it's going to mess with them even a bit, I'm not going to do that with them then. They're all for me.

Doctor: Okay then.

Poppers?

Doctor: They kill brain cells, but most things do, right? You know that. Just don't do them too, too often.

How should I feel about breath control?

Doctor: Well, I would say you should do it with someone experienced. If you're going for passing out, you should not be trying to do it through airflow, but via the carotid arteries. You should be careful and do it with someone that is a health profession or of equivalent experience, when it comes to near pass out play.